Don’t Tell Your Friends You Make Money, but Tell Your Friends

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This is a very interesting topic I will be discussing today. I run into this issue every weekend or maybe even everyday. I have a lot of good friends growing up and I respect a lot of them. They support a lot of what I do and happy to see me grow. I love my friends and I have a very tight circle of friends that I only hang out with, but even your friends will tend to be bother about the amount of growth you have done.

Then I have online marketer friends and local entrepreneurs. They too enjoy the other people with the same interest and ideas. They help motivate me as a person while I do the same. These friends I hang out with at meetings and socialize about our entrepreneur skills – asking help topics and generalizing about the next ‘big’ wave of internet ideas.

The conflict here is there is a difference in interest. All my friends are hard workers and some have hard lives. Most of them struggle but they make life livable. Some are doing well but hate the jobs they are doing. Marketers and my entrepreneur friends’ are struggling as well, some are beginners with big dreams, others are just getting the hang of it. Some of them even have jobs and do online marketing as a part time hobby. Everyone struggles.

It is annoying when my friends’ ask what I have been up to and I say I am making a new website or busy marketing. They quickly retaliate and say about what and what income will I be bringing in. I simply just say I make enough and I be humble about it. I tend to draw that line and not brag about how much I make a day extra from my job, I do not want to appear superior. When I go out with my friends I tend to spend more money and share a lot of it, this puts an image on me. To my friends I have money because I make money online, but they want to feel that sense too.

For example this past weekend, one of my friends knows of my success because we hang out a lot and he know I do not mind spending the money as long as we are having a good time. He came to me and ask if you have another big idea let me in – I will help you out. Now how should I feel about this? That is great he wants to help me out and be in the business model that I currently have but where is his motivation? There is no prerequisite on his part, just working 2 jobs and lives with his girlfriend’s parent’s house. I just said ‘cool.’ I was not excited that he wanted to help out. It seems that if my friends’ see me make money and they can tell I have money then I feel in a sense guilty because I am putting them into a situation where I think they will not be successful in.

On the other hand, I get lots of emails and IMs and tweets all day about online marketing and affiliate marketing and all that stuff. I am not an expert but I can throw some ideas in to help a person out, as long as they do their research. I hate answering simple question. I personally do not mind conversating with marketers and talk about what my conversion is on this campaign was or how much I make etc. To some extent. I mean I expect it in return a lot of noobs will even speak about their failures just so they can have a grasp of what to do next. While others will go a head and say I made X amount of websites and I am selling X of them. This is great because my interest follows their interest and there is no conflict of interests. I can feel comfortable to spend money around these types of people.

But the conflict still remains, my friends I grew up with and are part of my closely knitted circle trust me and I can sense they want me to ‘hire’ them when I get big. A lot has already proposed the question to me – when you get big don’t forget me. Again, I do not mind telling my friend what I am currently doing; I hope to motivate them to seek something better than working 2-3 jobs and coming home tired. I want to show them that it is possible for anyone to get into something I am doing.

Where my entrepreneur friend’s  ask if they want to network, I will be jumping for joy because there is similarities of interest. My friends are great people I just do not know where to draw the line between my internet business and hanging out. Should this be even brought up as a topic of discussion to my friends? A lot praise me and they mention money situations a lot, which I do not like. I hate it when people complain they do not have enough money but they do not do anything about it. I hate seeing my friends struggle but I do not want to nurture them, there has to be that drive. When we go out I do not mind spending money we ball out and we ball out hard. Some of my friends are big money makers in their own ways and this is how we have fun, then they struggle until next paycheck.

Sometimes telling my friends my goals and my ideas tends to bring some sort of arrogance and I do not want to bring that into my relationships with my friends at all. I want everyone to be comfortable and being who they are no matter what a person money value is. Even my entrepreneurial friends may feel some slight jealousy of the big guys, but that is motivation. Their really isn’t much arrogance but more of a helping hand. These friends of mine have the spirit of making more than the highest paid 9-5 guy. They have that drive. I do not mind sharing some thoughts or ideas, because there is already that bond of money making ideas. When told to my other friends, they think negatively about it already, playing devils advocate.

But in the end, friends support you but the conflict of interests arises and I feel I do not want to talk to them too much about my business because there maybe a jealousy factor within. I d not want to be a bad guy I love my friends because they helped me a lot with growing up. Okay that is enough for now. Tomorrow I might recap this and do a video or maybe talk about motivation.

Just writing what is on my mind.

  • Ya man, Thats a sticky situation.
    People think making money online is “easy” and requires little to know skills. If you were a high paying engineer your friends would not want to help you because well.. they do not know anything about engineering.

  • Dan

    Hey Ian,

    I’m a good friend of Wes from T202, and I’m glad I found your blog.

    This post hits home a lot for me. I’m a young entrepreneur still taking on classes in college, so balancing affiliate marketing, web development, and school is a tough challenge for me.

    In my case, most of my friends don’t have the entrepreneurial premise like me, and so when they see my goal sheet in my room, they say stuff like “Yeah, like that’s going to happen.”

    The main issue I have with them is that they believe their school education will dictate the direction and career ceiling of their lives. To an extent, that is true. Personally, I’m not a very good test taker, and probably don’t study enough to do well academically. However, I love learning, and studying up on business – always trying and attempting the next big thing. I send my friends motivational material, but they still seem not to get it. They always go back to their old routine of spending time playing games, etc. I am the one obsessed with success. I’ve once tried to start a business with one of them, and the next day all motivation within him was lost!

    So it’s a big letdown sometimes when you’re told that “You can’t do this,” or “That will never happen.” But never do I let the negativity get to me. There will always be doubters. Success can shut them up, but at what cost? I certainly want my friends to “get it” before it’s too late. Luckily, many of my online friends are all entrepreneurs.

    D

  • It is an interesting point. You had better hope they are not reading this blog though. Or maybe you do want them to read it. I think you basicly need to not talk about it too much, and say that you dont need help unless they have skills which you need.

  • Save your money. If you are making great max a your IRA and start saving your nestegg. Let compounding interest work fof you.

  • Ian

    lol – some of my friends do read my blog – which is good – my friends respect me since my team is all about respect 🙂

  • I did not mean they do not respect you. I just was saying save for the future……I made alot of money in my twenties and blew most of it….If i would have saved it ……I could have retired at 30.

  • I made the mistake of telling my friends how much I was making (back when I was making a lot) and then listening to them when they tried to convince me that I was making enough and could afford to take time off and hang out with them…. eventually I was doing that more than I was working… and my income dropped off significantly…

  • Katelin

    What a relief for Tamir Sapir. Tamir Sapir (a wonderfully melodious name) is not going to make any friends with PETA. (But then again, who wants to?) Tamir Sapir, a Soviet born billionaire and businessman, was fined $150,000 for using a yacht owned by one of his companies to import hides and trophies of endangered species. He won’t need installment loans to cover it. Among the items seized were skin rugs made from several different species, an entire stuffed lion, a tiger head, and bar stools and wallets covered with python skin, but the better news is that these were only used as decoration on the 150 foot yacht. Tamir Sapir won’t need debt relief, but he should have at least gotten the required permits.

  • Definitely can relate, I’m still in school and about to graduate and have a job that just breaks 6-figures before taxes and already have friends I grew up busting my balls about paying for this and that and how I’ll be making more than them ect. I like how you articulated this in your article. You want your friends to be successful of course but you can’t nuture them. The drive has to be there.

  • Every time I tell someone that I make money online they ask me how and immediately want me to teach them… so yeah… definitely not a good idea..

  • If they are your “friends” you should teach them how to make monies…. thats my motto! #GetSome

  • plenty of monies to be made on the tubes!!!!

  • I have the opposite problem, my friends constantly tell me to get a “real job” and stop “messing around” on the interwebz.

  • good post Ian. If these are truly your homies and you know they have the smarts to test a campaign I say put them on! If they fail, they will respect what you do more. If they succeed then you got peeps to split the cost of that bottle at the club!